Post 7: Early Pregnancy

Have you ever heard someone or maybe one of your friends saying "My boyfriend is my family" or "My girlfriend is my life?"

I’ve been hearing these lines everywhere specially from the youths today. I personally experienced finding love from others and thirst for an attention of a father. So, at an early age I engaged in having an early boy-girl relationship which I knew was wrong. Although, in this generation it’s considered as a norm; still, it’s wrong.

We all know that children who are in “Broken homes” are experiencing lacking something; emotionally and physically. And people who feels lacking something seeks for that satisfaction. And maybe for them they could find that satisfaction from their opposite sex.

According to an article of Juliet Neil-Hall "When children’s relationship needs are met they feel secure, happy and confident.” 

In my case before, I did not feel that security. I am an only child and my father left us at an early age for another woman. So, my mother was forced to go abroad and work to support my needs. I read an article that was kind of similar to the story of my family, but in her case she got pregnant at an early age. “The alarming rise of teenage pregnancy” by: Henrylito D. Tacio

Joan was 10 when her parents separated. Like me, her father left them for another woman and her mother decided to go abroad to support them. So she got to the point that when she had problems, she don’t know whom to lean on. At the age of 16 he had a boyfriend, and I think she found security in him that’s why she decided to be in a relationship. Then one time in their JS Promenade they sneak out the party to drink and extend the happiness. The following day she woke up naked in bed with her boyfriend. A month after that she broke up with him when she discovered that he’s been cheating, and eventually she figured out that she is pregnant.

According to Henrylito D. Tacio, “Other reasons why teenagers these days engaged in sex early in life are due to family problems, broken family, peer pressure, influential trends (regarding sex), lack of attention and love from parents, lack of moral values, failure to nurture with good principles, curiosity, lack of information about sex, use of illegal drugs, lack of guidance, prostitution and unintelligent decisions.

“

Basically, looking back on what happen to Joan is because of what her parents did. No one was guiding her at one of the most the crucial stage in her life. Even though her grandmother took in charge of her, she was too strict with her that made her feel that no one was with her. Of course her friends may be their but they don’t know what to do. This gives a conclusion that, parents must be very particular in raising a child. Not because they are already teenager they could stand by their own. It’s like teaching someone in driving. At first, you guide and teach them and then if you know that they are already able to handle the car, of course you won’t leave them at once. You have to check them if they could drive by their own; until you are confident enough to let them drive alone.

Post 6: Parenting

 “…good parenting does not come easy… you can’t go to college and get a degree in parenting.”

These are some of what Richard Patterson wrote in his book “Families with Faith.” Parenting is basically about “handling.” Instilling proper values and discipline but it is not all about that, it is also about how parents set and prepare an individual physically, emotionally and intellectually.

I have a question to all the parents out there, Are you there for your sons and daughters in their bed time? Or in times when they needed you the most? When they needed a help for their homework? When someone fights them? Could they approach you easily? Or do they still need to set an appointment with you just to talk to you?

I read a story about a son who was thirsty for his father’s attention; the little kid asked how much does his father earn for a month and his father got angry because he raised such question but his son was actually planning to buy the time of his father. – “How much Dad"


Giving a little time and attention actually means a lot for children. Especially at the infant to elementary school stage of one’s life, which is the very delicate stages of an individual’s life because, it is going to be his foundation and at this stage he is starting to build a life.

At the moment a child comes out from the mother and learns how to speak mama and papa until he learns how to walk by his own.  We should know how to mold them. Richard Patterson stated that parents can’t program their children like a computer to turn them out just the way they wanted. You can’t dictate what your children are going to be. But you could mold them, on how they should think, how they should acts and how they are going to be in front of other people, on how they communicate and more.

I am not a parent but I know that even though I grew up in a broken family, my mother molded and raised me properly.  She never told me anything against my father but instead she explained to me one by one, what is happening in our situation. I knew in her part it was very complicated because, she should choose the right words to say and right actions to show.

Being a parent is being a good example to your children. Not only to supply your children’s needs and to give a lot of material things but, it is training your child with proper ethics and introducing them in the real world. To know which is wrong or which is right. It is like holding a bird; when you hold it too tight it might die and if it’s too loose it might escape.

Post 5: Substitute Family

Children who are not that close with their family make substitute families, maybe their friends, school, work, sports, music.  Children would tend to create their own family.

I personally did create my own family, thinking that these things will fill my emptiness. I joined different school activities in dancing, singing, joining speech choir, competing in different art contests because, I want to feel loved because I thought that people would looked up at me.

But this is different from what I’ve mentioned earlier, a book of Michael K. Carlie caught my attention “A Personal Journey into theWorld of Street Gangs” he said, “Gangs form due to the absence of a family and its unconditional love, positive adult role models, and proper discipline.”

I also had a friend who was a part of a gang, and she told me it was her second family because she believes that they were the only one who understands her. Most members of gangs experience brokenness that is why they try to find people who would accept them.

According to his book a writer named Jankowski wrote, “I found that there were as many gang members from homes where the nuclear family was intact as there were from families where the father was absent.“

Proper handling and parenting must be done from the very start, once the children felt isolated, alone, left, cast-away it would contribute a big change in an individual’s life. He would create a negative outlook in life, low self-esteem and the tendency is he/she will rebel and a lot of people may be involved or damaged.

CHAPTER I

Contribution of Broken Families to the Propensity of Violence to the Society

  

A Research Paper Presented to

Mr. Dustin Celestino of The English Resource Center

Asia Pacific College

Magallanes, Makati

In Partial Fulfillment

Of the Requirements for the Course

RESWRITE-Research Writing

  

Sigrid B.Gonzaga

February 2013

Chapter I

INTRODUCTION

A.    Background of the Study

Most products of broken families contribute to the propensity of violence. Bad handling is one of the reasons why this situation affects generation by generation. A family consists of a father, mother and their children. Intangible things, immeasurable love and care, bind a home together, but the saddest part is when the home starts to break. It is one of the major problems of society that should be given enough attention. The behavior of a family setup affects the social, economic and political aspects of a country. It should not be taken for granted as if it will fix the problem on its own. (http://ambbfa.blogspot.com/)

Broken families in Britain were to be blame in the riots happening there. They say that people who are part of the riot are people with low educational background, from deprived areas, and are gang members. It all started when the people raised a protest because the Metropolitan Police failed to inform the people and shot the man named Mark Duggan close to Tottenham Hale Station, and the riot started. After Mark Duggan’s death, he was found to be a part of a gang and is a family man. (http://www.theweek.co.uk/people-news/3253/mark-duggan-gangster-family-man-or-both)

Nowadays, being in a broken family becomes a norm. Number of divorces increase and children living with both parents decreases. And some of the worst aspects of human nature had been tolerated and indulged. People think that a person who lives in a complete family has more moral values than broken families—judging happens.

Having a broken family affects the development of an individual, in which the situation may be absorbed by one’s view on society. According to Peter Fagony, Unattended broken families is the most important issue affecting society. Because of how the child’s brain develops, it is easiest and most cost-effective to intervene early. As for Alasdair Palmer, she said that early intervention to the thinking of youths can make a tremendous contribution to improving our society.

Broken families have something to do with what is happening to the society. On the way they were raised, the surroundings that they start with and the approach and a lot more People have different perspectives. It’s on how they are being raised, positively and negatively. On one hand, if they were raised up by people with positive outlook in life, then theirs will be positive as well. Success in life is a big chance. On the other hand, if they were raised up by people who have negative perspective in life, then theirs will be negative as well. Possibly, they could be a huge problem in the society. However, if they were being raised with counseling from people with proper thinking, then they will have a better life ahead and they will not be a problem to the society. Thus, counseling is advised to be done at the very early stage.

This paper focuses on the contribution of broken families to what is happening to the society

B.     Statement of the Problem

This study aims to answer this question:

I.                   In what ways does a broken family contribute to an individual's propensity for violence?

C.    Significance of the Study

Divorced Parents – This research paper would be able to help divorced parents resolve or inhibit probable destructive effects that may cause an enormous situation to the society.

Children- this would help and give an idea to the youth stop to the heredity of the situation for the upcoming generations.

Government – Knowledge of Government Officials from past situations would help anticipate on what may happen. That would have a better leading strategy.

D.     Scope and Delimitation

This study focuses on the contribution of broken families to violence. Broken families are being tolerated in our present generation. This study also concentrates on an individual’s development from different perspective of different parents that would create an enormous effect to the society.

E.     Materials and Methods

The research engages an informative method that will be centered on any broken family or broken home topic that would also have to do with the perception of the society. Its objective is to prevent impending broken family issues that affect violence to the society.

Surveys would be about from different point of views of people in complete and broken family. On how they contrast and how are they alike.

F.     Definition of Terms

Divorce-The legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body: "her divorce from her first husband"

Intervention- The action or process of intervening.

Propensity- An inclination or natural tendency to behave in a particular way

Riot- A violent disturbance of the peace by a crowd

Violence- Behavior involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something.

Post 4: Broken Family Fims

“Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten”

Remember this touching line from one of our favorite cartoon in old times, Lilo and Stitch?

Youths nowadays are too fascinated with watching cartoons, anime and surfing the internet that it makes a big difference in their lives. It becomes an obsession that severely affects their growth. One of these is “broken family films”

A lot of films today, -specifically children’s films- are now focused on broken families. And I just noticed that most of the children’s films start with the family broken, where the parents are divorced, or one of the parents is deceased or they have abandoned their children.

According to Steven D. Greydanus’ blog about “Broken Family Films,” That being in a broken family, or specifically divorce, became normal nowadays. And according to him “broken family films” term is ambiguous it can mean family films that is about broken family or family films that are complete but has an idea of brokenness, even though they are complete it has a sense of lacking something.

Well for me broken family films, either they are complete or not as long as the plot of the story pertains to family experiencing brokenness it is considered to be a part of that category. But what do these films do to the youth?

Will this bring positive or negative thoughts in the youth’s mind? One example is “Lilo and Stitch” (an example of broken family film where parents died).  Although the child, Lilo, acted negatively about their situation at the beginning, her sister handled her with patience and discipline that’s why Lilo had a positive perspective and outlook in life. That would also influence the viewers to have a positive outlook in life despite experiencing situations.  Another example is “Zathura,” a story about two brothers with the older brother blaming his younger brother for the divorce of their parents, wishing that he was not born. Their father is having a hard time to play both roles of a father and a mother that made the kids compare him to their mother.

For me bad handling of a father is portrayed because, in the movie the father does not mind if his children are disrespecting him (which is somehow a reality for others). Causing the viewers, especially kids, to imitate the movie. There is a possibility for youths to think that being a stubborn and rebellious child is cool. Another is the negligence of the brother is portrayed. Kids are always going to be at their exploring stage and they should have proper guidance while growing. It is the moment wherein they are still building things in their mind.

“Going forward means learning to play the game: to take turns; to spin the dial and take what comes; to move along the track set before you.” says, Steven D. Greydanus

The main thing of the movie is “you can’t go home without finishing the game.” The game is all about “restoration” that represents “having a desire to restore the family again.”

Because of this very influential media, as well as the representation of useless or single parents provides an unfit role model for younger people. It’s even worse that they’re left and expose in front of the television at an early age. In conclusion, young people should not be left in front of the television, specifically the programs where it will affect them in a negative way unless they are instilled with proper guidance.

Post 3: Society In Different Shades

Are you a product of a complete or broken family? Did your parents raise you successfully? If you were raised in a broken family, how did you overcome this situation? And for those who were in complete family, how do you feel about people on your opposite situation? How does having a broken family affect society? These are some questions that I asked during my interview with different types of people who have different experiences and perspectives in life.

And after hearing different testimonies and insights from people who grew up in either a complete or broken family, these are the results. Some people from a complete family say that they pity and felt sad for those people who are in a broken family because they knew how happy it is having a complete family; while some say that even they are complete, they still feel like they lack something even though they were given proper education because their parents just don’t care. One of them, who are a part of a broken family, told me that they overcame their situation because they helped each other by getting their strength from one another. Someone also said that instead of complaining, they just used their situation as an inspiration to pursue their dreams.

Going back to my previous blogs, a bond of a family is one of the important things to make the family strong. It is one of the major things that would affect each and everyone’s life. As Art Buchwald say “Family is the basic unit of the society.” Everything starts at home. Inside the four corners of the house, you will grow, learn things, and develop your thinking. A person’s attitude would manifest on how the society is right now

But what is happening in our society these days? According to different articles and forums, we are in the generation wherein the society is polluted by lots of riots, chaos, crimes, racism, unwanted teenage pregnancies, drug users and more. How did a broken family become a reason for these things?

Well according to my interaction with some people, One said “children who grew up in a broken family is a big problem to the society because there are possibilities that they might go in the wrong path in life, because no one was there to guide them all throughout, to correct them and because of that, sometimes what they think is wrong is right.” Another said that "some became delinquents, they become rebellious. That's why numerous crimes happen; many are jailed, many died, and a lot of people are affected."


Like on what happen in Britain. Broken Families were to be blame on the riots and chaos in their country, while searching on what really happen in this incident I came across to this article, "Broken societies need strong families – Ask Britain!" David Cameron,(British prime minister) says, that the solution to the problem, is families: “So if we want to have any hope of mending our broken society, family and parenting is where we've got to start.”

Maybe if broken families were reduced, there will be a decrease in crimes. I was even shocked while researching this; that it had something to do with our society today. It made me realize about a lot of things, that this is an alarming message for everybody.

But not everyone from a broken home caused chaos in our society. People shouldn't look down on them; things really happen for a reason, great or small. And from every circumstance, we should learn that we shouldn't get revenge, but to start a change.

Post 2: Broken Society

How does broken family really affect the society? Does it bring harm to the society? Are they a big head ache to other people? Is it really considered as a social issue?

According to Alaissa Nerriel

“Broken family is a major problem of the society that should be given enough attention.”

I was wondering how people respond, react or feel with people who grew up in broken families. Are people aware and do they care about how they feel?  An article, written by Katie Razzal in 2011, caught my attention after doing a bunch of research about how people, living in this situation, affect the society: “Can society afford not to fix 'broken families'? “

It stated that the broken families were to be blame on the riot that was happening in UK that time and we might prevent this by giving them the proper attention, most especially the children by therapy and counseling as early as possible. Because it might lead to depression and anti-social behaviors while growing up.

People have different perspectives. For me it’s on how they are being raised, positively and negatively. On one hand, if they were raised up by people with positive outlook in life, then theirs will be positive as well. Success in life is a big chance. On the other hand, if they were raised up by people who have negative perspective in life, then theirs will be negative as well. Possibly, they could be a huge problem in the society. However, if they were being raised with counseling from people with proper thinking, then they will have a better life ahead and they will not be a headache in the society. Thus, counseling is advised to be done at the very early stage.

Professor Peter Fonagy FBA, a psychologist at UCL and The Anna Freud Centre put it more simply: "This is the most important issue affecting society. Because of how the brain develops, it is easiest and most cost-effective to intervene early."

We do not really notice why people have differences. If we carefully take a look at other people’s lives, why they have such negative thoughts, we can say that the upbringing is an important cause. Therefore, it is advisable to have counseling while young.

Brain development affects society. According to Alasdair Palmer, Early Intervention of parents can make a tremendous contribution in improving our society.

If people respond to these issues as early as possible, we can resolve things that are happening. In our present society, having broken family may be a big factor leading on to the actions of people in our society. Others may not notice but - yes, this situation creates a big impact on society’s morals, values and actions. Regardless of the issues between partners, they should’ve been more responsible because the future of a child is in their hands. Awareness regarding this issue could help partners or parents have better family planning, thus giving more importance to the future and welfare of the child. Values and morals that build the foundation of the family could be passed on from generation to generation. Though it may not be easy or quick to resolve the issue, if one starts now – change is still possible. Let’s start inside the family.